A Kitchen Down Under

Sydney ….. undeniably one of the great cities of the world – stunning views and stunning architecture. Who in the world has never seen or heard of those great Australian icons - the Opera House and Sydney Harbour Bridge? Tourists, disgorged from luxurious cruise ships, throng The Rocks and Circular Quay to enjoy the thriving cafe culture, shops, restaurants, bars and art galleries. This is the place to be and, I suspect, this is the Sydney that blog readers will assume that Sandra and I will have been enjoying - they could not be further from the truth.

We have now been in Sydney for nearly six weeks with not even a sniff of an icon never mind dipping our toes into cafe culture, restaurants or art galleries. Our life has been bound by three parameters – Steven's kitchen, IKEA and Bunnings (the Australian version of B & Q) We had offered to help with the installation of a new, and badly needed, kitchen in the new house and had completed our trip a little earlier than intended in order to crack on with the work.

Whilst I have, a long time ago, installed a couple of kitchens I am by no means an expert – in fact thinking back on the results of these past DIY adventures I would rate myself as little more than an unaccomplished amateur. Thank goodness I was not to be the lead operator on this little operation. I saw my role as having some minor input at the planning stage then ripping out the old units and appliances, carting the IKEA flat packs back to the house and helping to assemble them. The bulk of the actual kitchen fitting was to be carried out by Steven's neighbour, who had casually informed us that he had installed many kitchens. I thought that my time was to be spent acting as gopher to the professional - handing up the appropriate tools, general lifting and carrying and supplying mugs of tea at regular intervals. How mistaken can one be?

The expected help never actually materialised, certainly not in the form of any hands-on input to the project and, other than the lending of a few tools, the “professional” was notable by his absence. In some ways this was no bad thing as, reading between the lines, he seemed a little uncertain about some aspects of kitchen installation - aspects which I considered fairly important i.e. the plumbing and electrical work. However, to give him his due, he was able to put me in touch with both a plumber and electrician who both eventually did a good job.

The last few weeks have been slow work. With the design morphing every few days as Sandra and Ana kept changing their minds, there were endless trips to IKEA – initially for planning purposes and then to pick up flat packs and starting to assemble them. High on Sandra's list of priorities was “cockroach proofing”. Most houses in Sydney have, to a greater or lesser extent, a problem with cockroaches and Steven's was no exception with many of the loathsome creatures putting in an unwelcome appearance. Sandra's theory was to block up as many holes in the kitchen as possible to keep the little buggers out. As anyone who knows anything about cockroaches will tell you this approach is unlikely to be successful – however, despite my protests, I was detailed to secure wooden battens supplemented by tubes of a substance known as “No More Gaps” around all the skirtings. Time will tell if this approach has been successful – I hae ma doubts!

Anyway, a picture is worth a thousand words as they say, so here follows about 16,000 words worth of pictures.

The kitchen was pretty grim and needed a little renovation

Ana, a miniature powerhouse, taking out the old sink unit with a wrecking bar



Steven lying down on the job

Sandra checking up on my "cockroach proofing"

The new units starting to take shape

What the elegant kitchen installer is wearing in Sydney this year

"Hurry up with that photo, I can't hold this forever" 

Slowly but surely - then we took them all down again for the next photo

Hoping that the brushed aluminium backsplash stays glued to the wall

An inspection from Ana and young Jasmine

Steven and Ana proving that marriage is a partnership - despite bloody IKEA!

Ana always wanted a sliding corner carousel unit - Steven is not so sure

With a whole tube of silicon round the sink there better not be any leaks

Starting to look the part with dishwasher in place



Sandra and Ana preparing for the first dinner party

The finished article, with Johann and Stretch as honoured first guests

And now, after almost six weeks of slow but steady work on the kitchen, it's time to relax for a few days before heading back to the Scottish winter next week. Our work is done here, we can be pleased with what we have achieved - or so I thought - Sandra and Ana are now deep in discussion about an apparently much needed new bathroom. I think we may be back sooner rather than later!